Monday, January 12, 2015

potty dancer

This girl is a potty champ. After a couple of days with accidents and stubbornness and mom freaking out and thinking she would never get it, Alaina suddenly figured it out and started going on the potty. I like to think it has something to do with her love of dance and the fact that I would do the "potty dance" each time she went. She would jump up gleaming with pride and shake her little tutu clad bottom mimicking my "potty dance", laughing and squealing the whole time. It was nothing short of glorious.

I waited to begin the "potty training" process with Alaina, because I had a feeling that if I held off until she seemed ready, it would not take long for her to get it. Every developmental milestone (including her birth) has been this way. Just when I start to think it is getting too late and taking too long (born a week late, didn't crawl until 10 months, didn't walk until 16-17 months, didn't say anything other than "no" until 18-19 months, etc...), she explodes and surprises me and there is no going back.

She is all undies during awake times these days, and it is so great. When Graham was going through the potty training process, I always had to remember to tell him to take a break and sit on the pot. I had to sort of control it and it made me crazy. Alaina, on the other hand, has complete control. If I tell her to take a break, she says "No. I don't need to go." So, I tell her that when she feels ready, she should go and I will go with her if she wants. I had to let go completely. I had to let her guide me. It had to be her choice. She knows when she needs to go and that is that. I have to stay out of it. Such a huge difference in personality types between Graham and Alaina. Graham needs me to help pave the way. Alaina paves her own way and insists that I come along.

The point of all this is to document the fact that Alaina spends most of her time in undies and I no longer have to worry about diapers. This is monumental, because I do not intend to have any more babies. My diaper days (except for nighttime) are over. Over. Times, they are a changing, people. This is huge. This is it. This is life. My life. And I want to stop time and embrace it all. This is it. I will remember this. I will. This is it. No more diapers!!!

Thanks for listening. Next up: Alaina's unique and amazing personality at age two. It must be documented before she is three. Time, please just stop for a second. 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go...

Today, I officially accepted an official job offer. Full time. So official. Tuesdays through Saturdays. Work on a Saturday?? Apparently, that is a thing at adult inpatient psych facilities. And they want me to be a therapist at one here in town. Someone wants to hire me! And pay me money to work! And allow me to accrue hours toward a full license! And allow me to buy real clothes and actually wear them! Finally! Yay! Celebrate!

But, I'm scared. Terrified. Unsure.

How is this going to work?

Who will take care of my kids? Anyone know a good nanny in Yakima? I'm currently on the hunt.

And won't I miss my kids?

Of course, I will miss my kids. Duh.

And they will certainly miss me. Well, Alaina will. Graham is all grown-up and he thinks it is exciting that I will be able to work and that he will sometimes get to have babysitters on Saturdays when Tony also has to work. He's all set. Alaina, on the other hand, NEEDS me. She has to HOLD me several times a day. She's had a fever the past couple of days. As if she knows I am about to ABANDON her. And she still needs to perfect her potty-going skills. How can I leave that up to someone else? I need to be there to clean up the shit and make sure she sits on the pot every hour and be patient when she has accidents and be uplifting and encouraging when she gets it right. The thought of someone else doing all of that FOR me seems absurd. Impossible. Like, literally, not possible.

Actually, come to think of it, teaching Alaina potty-going skills has been a real pain in the ass. The girl loves wearing her new undies, but hates the suggestion of sitting on the pot. She cries about it. Screams NooOOOnooooo potty potty! But then she screams, I want uuuundiiieeess!! She is a conundrum. Maybe paying someone else to help her along with this developmental milestone is just the thing this family needs. Maybe I will come home from work one day and she will have it all figured out and I won't have to go through all that agony with her. Ah, but there's the rub. I sort of WANT to go through the agony with her. That's how relationships are transformed and enhanced and made better...

Motherhood is a conundrum. You can never just have one emotion at a time. Everything has to be a push and pull heart-wrenching situation.

That said, I am going to give this whole job thing a try. Because, if I don't, I will always wonder what it would be like to be out there doing my profession again. I will sit and stew and worry about it. I will feel I've wasted my degree. Nobody wants to feel that, right?

So, wish me luck. This is going to be a crazy new adventure for this family.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to go crawl under a blanket forever and pretend to be transported back to my casalinga days in Italy.

Monday, October 6, 2014

it is my birthday

To celebrate, I asked my family to take a little pre-birthday Sunday hike with me.

A born leader.

Then I asked them to let me take several fall photes of them.

My heart melted.

Alaina said, "It's okay, Daddy. I got you."

They obliged.

And the view was spectacular.

There is only one thing left to do on a 32nd birthday. Celebrate. Yay life!

Monday, August 4, 2014

my oh my, it was a wonderful July

I've skipped a few months, but I'm going for a once a month blog post to get myself back into it.

We spent lots of time at Hayden Lake in July. We also celebrated Tony's mom's birthday with a nice backyard party. Graham and Alaina and I have spent tons of quality time together. And we travelled back and forth from Spokane to Yakima. Because, yes, we are moving to Yakima!

Photo overload.

Most photes ever in one post.