Thursday, August 16, 2012

my new nephew


I had a nervous stomach all day yesterday, and I didn't know why. I didn't feel like eating. My mind was elsewhere, but I didn't know where. I just felt strange all day. Then I talked with my brother. He told me he was in the hospital waiting for his son to be born. It all became clear to me. I was nervous for him. Sibling connections run deeper than I ever imagined. I said goodnight to him as the nurses were beginning to induce the labor. I didn't sleep well. I kept checking the computer for updates. Alaina woke up earlier than usual, so I was thrown off this morning and didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't eat. I couldn't relax. I couldn't exercise or clean. I just stared at my computer waiting for the news.

I was not prepared for the flood of emotions that hit me when the little "ding-dong" rang on my screen. I couldn't get a word out because I was crying before I even saw my brother. Then I saw my mom. Then I saw my cousins. I lost it completely. I cried because I was happy for my brother and his new son, because I missed my mom and my family, and because, damn it, I was jealous. I wished my family could have been there for me when my kids were born. But, mostly I cried because I wanted more than anything to be there with them at that moment. I wish I could have helped welcome my nephew, my children's cousin, into the world...

When I do meet him, though, I will be able to make him pasta and tell him stories of a far off land they call "Italia."

I absolutely cannot wait for that day.

Congratulations to my big brother. I am over the moon with joy and hope for him right now.

Good luck, brotha!

3 comments:

  1. Oh that is so great! Congrats to Henry! And you on becoming Auntie Katherine!!

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  2. Grandpa and I went to see him this afternoon. Trayden is adorable, a real life little baby doll. Black, black CURLY hair, deep blue eyes, perfect skin. So itzy bitzy, no larger than a large football, which reminds me, your brother likes to throw baby's around like footballs. He needs serious counseling Katherine!!! What else did you get your degree in!!!! Check out my facebook page for more pictures. Also, Hank or Jeanie's fb pages should have more too. But I imagine you have already seen those. Did your mom bring her IPad and skype you? Truly another miracle for our family. And yes, I wish you were here too! But before you can blink an eye, you all will be back in the states. Love you muches, grandma k

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  3. well i think you and I are having a cousin connection today lol I posted earlier about how my brothers baby I have never met and shes turing one this month , and how when i finally meet her how imma spoil her! lol so heres hoping you get to see little man sooner than later!! Congrats on being an Auntie again ;) LOVE, Rhiannon

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