Wednesday, April 13, 2011

happy as a clam

I once tried to be a vegetarian. It lasted until I got pregnant, and for the first time in my life, I actually craved meat. Chicken figures, to be exact. I decided that pregnancy came with a set of its own restrictions, so why place any more upon myself. If I wanted to eat meat, I ate it.

I didn't go back to vegetarianism after pregnancy, because it never felt quite right to me. The thing that bothered me most about it was the attention I got for it. If I ever ate at someone's home, they felt obliged to make me a special vegetarian dish. I didn't like that people always went to great lengths to ensure my vegetarian self was happy. I don't like attention.

My new motto with food is that I eat what is in front of me. If someone else prepared it and it is meat, then I eat it, and often times I even enjoy it.

Today, I was really glad this is my motto, because when I showed up to eat lunch at my neighbor's house, she had prepared a nice dish of linguine with clams.

Um, did you know that clams gross me out? I mean, just look at the things. Ewe. Gross. (This is where I think I should mention that this is not my photo. I just found it on the internet somewhere).

I would never choose to eat clams for lunch. But, there they were. Prepared and in front of me. I had to eat them, because, well, that's my motto, right? They are a bit of a delicacy here as they are in most places, so they cost more, and Rosalinda was just beaming with excitement to give them to me. She gave me a rather large serving of them.

My heart sank, I felt nervous, nauseous, and terrified. What was I going to do with this giant dish of clams? I wanted to run for the hills. I wanted to fake a sudden onset of something really contagious so they would insist that I go home and rest. Of course, neither of these options were possible for me, because above all else, I cannot find it in my heart to be rude to people in their own home.

You know that scene in "The Lion King" where Timone and Pumba show Simba how to eat a grub? Simba picks up a worm and the music drops and sort of goes nneeeer-oearrrr as Simba is letting it slither down his throat. Then, after a few seconds - for effect - Simba proclaims, "Slimy, yet.... satisfying!"

 No? You don't have that move memorized like I do?

Oh, well, anyway, I ate the clams. And I liked them. I liked them a lot. I ate them all.

And they were satisfying.

1 comment:

  1. Nobody has ever memmorized a movie like you with "The Lion King". I used to love watch you mouth the dialog, word for word, through the entire movie. Did you do that when you went to see it on Broadway? I bet you did. haha